Life can be terrifying.
With hormones, moods and emotions to contend with, sometimes the smallest things can feel enormous and scary. Familiar examples of fear getting in our way might be not going for a job because we’re afraid we’re not qualified enough or might fail (you could imagine hundreds of examples if you let yourself.) Another might be not wanting to make a positive change in our life because we’re afraid of the unknown.
Fear is a natural human emotion that can be paralyzing… Literally. Not only can it paralyze your body if you’re scared enough but it can paralyze our personal and professional growth.
Here are 9 tools for your toolbelt
- Acknowledge your fear
Never try to sweep your fear under the rug. It will give it more power. Instead, you need to acknowledge and accept your fears. We all have them, and there’s no shame in that. Like we mentioned before, bravery is not about eliminating fear but moving forward despite being afraid.
- Confront it
Confronting your fear is about understanding the underlying reasons why you’re afraid in the first place. Ask WHY? For example, if you’re afraid to ask for a promotion or apply for a new role, ask yourself why. Is it because you may not get it? Are you afraid of rejection, failure, or ridicule?
You’ll soon realise that your fear is often your ego trying to protect itself from feeling diminished. In reality, these experiences can only make you a stronger person, not weaker.
- Use positive self-talk
Consider that inner voice inside your head that reveals your beliefs and thoughts. When you’re afraid, it means that for a long time, you’ve created a negative stream of self-talk that may look like this:
“I would like to speak up more during meetings, but I’ll probably just say the wrong thing.”
“I’m not going to that networking event. What if I don’t know anyone there?”
When you start believing these negative thoughts, you sabotage your growth. Catching these thoughts and replacing them with positive self-talk:
“I am capable of speaking in front of my peers, even if it’s not perfect.”
“It’s okay If I don’t know anyone there. It’s a chance to meet new people and learn.”
Consistent, positive self-talk will build your confidence and your ability to overcome your fears.
- Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it...that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear
- American writer and self-improvement pioneer Dale Carnegie
So if you’re afraid of being alone, for example, go see a movie by yourself. If you want to be even braver, take a solo trip. The best way to become fearless is to put yourself in situations that intimidate you. Once you do them despite being afraid, fear will lose power over you.
- Make being brave a habit
Once you conquer your fear for the first time, don’t stop there. Strengthen your fearlessness like a muscle by overcoming your fears on a regular basis. To do this: Make a mental or physical list of your fears and start overcoming them. Begin with the easiest ones and gradually move up.
When you learn how to live courageously, you’ll realise how much you were missing out on because fear was getting in the way.
- Practice mindfulness
By staying grounded in the present moment with breathwork or meditation we can slow down those racing thoughts of worst case scenarios that fear thrives on. Fear is mind made so we are often afraid of what might happen, not what is actually happening in the present moment. Our fears often hinge on future made-up problems that may never happen. Mindfulness can help with observe and manage techniques for unhelpful thoughts. Both are enormously helpful skills.
- Find a mentor
Do you know anyone in your personal or professional life whose fearlessness and confidence you admire? Build a mentor relationship with them. Ask them how they master fear! People within our circle of influence are often more than happy to share tips they have learnt along the way and you just never know where this could lead.
- Embrace failure
Failure is a huge fear for most of us! Instead of fearing failure we need to see it for what it is: A learning opportunity… A mountain to climb.
How? Start by building resilience.
Resilient people try not to be hard on themselves when they don’t succeed and have a growth mindset. Learn through your failures and try again.
- Don’t aim for perfection
Be kind to yourself and apply a beginner’s mindset. Start slowly.
Reduce expectation and approach with a sense of curiosity, less worried about the outcome than in your old ways.
Learning not to judge an outcome as good or bad will take the fear of failure out of the equation. Less perfection and more learning + growing.
These awesome tips were put together by the team at Reframe.